erraticwisdom: Surviving Life

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The questions we ask are not ones we can ponder in our free time and easily set aside when there’s life to do. What am I? Am I free? What is the purpose of my existence? Why should I strive to act morally? Is the reconstructed ship still the Ship of Theseus? (Ok, perhaps we can make it without settling that last one).

It’s often nearly impossible to return to the daily grind of school or work (or both) after exploring these problems. It seems like a failure to not study these questions continuously, but is the solution (devoting our entire lives to it) realistic?

Walden Pond vs. Times Square – Pick your poison, the deafening silence of solitude or the mind-numbing bustle of a metropolis.

As it always is with cases like these, finding the proper balance seems to be the key. Surviving in today’s world requires a significant amount of work (Walden aside), and it is almost inevitable that we fall into the routine of a full-time job. We are eventually faced with a life-or-death struggle for either our physical or intellectual/spiritual existence. The lines are obviously not always so clean cut, one can strive for the intermediate courses where our jobs incorporate intellectual activities (and are therefore more rewarding), but the fact remains that time spent on essentially surviving is time lost. This concern does not relate to the finer things in life: family, friends and fun which are always welcome (even as “distractions”), but to the other stuff, the stuff we have to do.

Even if one was able to somehow disregard the pull of society and ignore (or at least subordinate) one’s physical needs, there are no guarantees that the time for contemplation would produce any answers.

Neither extreme seems at all desirable, and the middle ground is far from satisfying. How do you balance your life?

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At: 08:16:45 AM
On: February 11
In: Personal
By: Tom Fadial

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Balance seems to be a hard thing to attain. At least, for me it is. It seems to come and go as it wants which can leave me feeling empowered or empty. I have not figured out how to find balance in such a way that I can have it on a regular basis.

It seems that I have too much of either or none at all, and presently I would have to say that I’m definitely far from achieving balance of any sort.
Tom Martin

Feb 11, 10:53 PM #
Yeah, I can’t say I’ve ever felt properly balanced in this sense and it really makes me wonder if it’s actually possible.

I’m just so darn confused. Even writing this comment I’ve backtracked a few times because I just don’t know how I feel. I know I can live a successful life in the traditional sense, but at what cost? And if I choose the simpler, contemplative life, then I’ll miss out on some of the stuff I enjoy most.

If anyone has any opinions on this, please leave a comment!
Thame

Feb 13, 09:05 PM #
“Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must” – Goethe

Basically, do what is necessary when you have to because you have to. That aside, focus on what really counts. Thats the best any person can do, and really the most achievable form of balance in life.
Jake

Feb 17, 11:28 AM #
I’ve flipped this thought like a coin in my mind many a time.
How do I find and maintain balance?
Thoughts of completely abandoning society and pulling a Thoreau have passed, but I also seem to be drawn to the excitement of big cities.
Both are complete polar opposites and I question why I want both.

I think one way to be balanced is to be content and to always size things up in respect to what really matters.
Also it would help if society would recognize that there are certain distractions (family, friends) that are a must.

I’m guessing take a vacation when needed and on a daily basis find time for silence.
I’m only 17 so please be lenient on my knowledge. haha thanks.
Abe

Feb 19, 01:41 AM #
Personally, I just try and take whatever life sends me. Once I can take it no longer, I usually just find myself some quiet time to think to ponder our existence, and why I bother surviving it. It always gives me more reason to survive when I try to find why I do so. Thus allowing me to go on.

Now how do i go about finding myself some good quiet time? Well I personally take my time to walk/bike to school or work. Sure it’s not the most time efficient way, but you’re getting a good exercise both physically and mentally, and you’re saving money and mother nature from not driving that people/nature killing machine. Sometimes all it takes is to take a number 2 to relieve yourself physically and mentally. I mean you are in an isolated place with no windows and outside noise to distract you. And hey, you have nothing better to do in it, so why not take your time to ponder your existence rather than reading about the outside world from some newspaper and burdening yourself even more. You can always learn about the outside world by, going outside.

So for me life is like 2 rechargeable batteries. I recharge one at a time and make sure the other one never get empty. I think to focus on one at a time is better than doing both at the same time, because if you try to find both at the same time I think you will exhaust yourself, draining more charge from your batteries. Wow that was one long comment.
Jonathan Solichin

Feb 24, 01:23 PM #
Jake: Basically, do what is necessary when you have to because you have to. That aside, focus on what really counts. Thats the best any person can do, and really the most achievable form of balance in life.

Good point and great quote, plus “Goethe” is fun to say (Use VLC).

Abe: I’m guessing take a vacation when needed and on a daily basis find time for silence.
I’m only 17 so please be lenient on my knowledge. haha thanks.

I meditate regularly and it’s been quite beneficial, almost too beneficial. And don’t worry about your age, sometimes I think we younger people have a better grasp on some of these issues, and the opportunity to pursue them.

Jonathan Solichin: So for me life is like 2 rechargeable batteries. I recharge one at a time and make sure the other one never get empty. I think to focus on one at a time is better than doing both at the same time, because if you try to find both at the same time I think you will exhaust yourself, draining more charge from your batteries.

Nice analogy! Sometimes I wonder if we can really accomplish anything if we work only to sustain these batteries’ charges. Can we gain more by committing everything, even if it means we burn out? That is, is there some threshold we can only break past by expending everything we have?
Thame

Feb 24, 10:48 PM #
I used to feel pretty balanced, in days when my decisions, taken as functions mapping from me to a group of affected people, were largely isomorphic. That is, I was the primary receptor of any effects of my choices.

Even during my first marriage, I seem to recall having had a pretty stable balance. I’m naturally self-absorbed or introverted, so being a parent in a family of 6 incorporated challenges, but they seem to pale in retrospect.

Currently, in a second marriage, with those children of my first marriage distant, with some work yet to do to normalize my and my wife’s parenting philosophies, with some strains between my wife and my children of my first marriage, with employment in a company bent on trying all means to drive away what little job satisfaction I had, with cognitive challenges bringing me to wonder if I’m fit to try what I’m trying…

…pondering what’s moral, what’s ethical, isn’t mere academic interest. I have notions of what I have right to expect from myself and those close to me, and my employer and fellow employees, but if we were left only to honor our notions without reflection on their merits, no one, not the least of us, could be found wrong.

I lose myself in trying to find right if it exists. I feel beleaguered, run dry treading water where there is no bottom to be found and no one to pull me out. The very people closest to me, to whom I might take these strains for advice, are precisely the people I can’t lean on as it is with them that I take issue.

My wife says I look much older now than when she met me four years ago, and I feel it. I see no light at the end. You’re not alone, and I’m not sure there’s a finite number of finite increments that can approach rightness, so we’re left with finding the least sloppy approximation algorithm we can…and revising it until we die.
Daniel Black

Feb 28, 11:02 PM #
Daniel:

That’s both disheartening and encouraging. I often fear losing the sense of wonder and curiosity I have now (many older friends and family members are basically robots at this point), but on the other hand, thinking about these questions is just torture and I don’t know if I can tolerate an entire life wondering about these things.
Thame

Mar 3, 08:32 PM #
Love your template blog
Fubiz

Mar 14, 04:17 PM #
when i read the whole thing and the comments i felt ‘how true’!! we all have been working like mads balancing life in everyway, running up to keep schedules, wasting time in daily corus, doing boring things, running through endless loops…..ya, so right i also do it all the time and wonder why i do it all the time…. I may not have full complete answers but yes there are few which keep me contended and give me energy to do the same thing again & again. One, I’m human, (NO GOD) i won’t work if i don’t have to feed myself & my family to survive. I’m not animal to waste my energy fighting simply to survive. I’m a social animal who has to live in society which is a great supporter and can be a great drain on energy and resources. Second, I have a child whose satisfied smile, a chuckle makes me go round every thing again and finding new ways of doing things, finding contentment and pleasure in small things.
Third, if i’m not doing the balancing act, it is no guarantee ( or i’m no genius or GOD) to be doing anything greater. Even GOD does the same thing everyday… send sun…send stars… then Moon… take care of his children 24×7.
Jona

Mar 28, 04:00 AM #
It’s interesting that you used “school” and “work” in the same sentence in relation to figuring out “what am I?”. I invite you to check out the school for “the work” for answers to this and other existential questions – http://www.thework.com/index.asp

be safe, be well and be happy
mudita

May 7, 11:46 PM #
Possibly the biggest problem with finding balance in life is the loss of focus on the big picture. When I, in the past, have tried to find balance in my own life, I have often found myself switching focus from one thing to another so many times and so fast I lose myself in monotonous thought and routine.

When I had finally lost myself in dizziness, I had to stop, breathe, and take a step back from everything and consider the relationships between each factor in my life , set priorities for each, and think about what was more important to me.

This has seemed to work since, for the most part… but you must remember that nothing in life is finite except change, and there will always be imbalances. The trick is to roll with the changes and adapt.
Chris

May 10, 06:44 PM #
Hi, Thame. First just want to say great work on the blog. The design and all its fancy workings are just stunning, and your thought-provoking content is always a pleasure to read.

I’m 21 and just graduated from college, which puts me at that pivotal point in life where questions like these become increasingly relevant. I graduated about three weeks ago and already am under intense pressure from family and friends regarding my next step in life. “Are you researching jobs?” “Have you sent out your resume?” “What have you been doing every day since you graduated?” It literally feel like I am not allowed even a month or two break between what has been 16 years of school and what will be the rest of my life. It’s incredible the relentless pace at which we are expected to live out our lives.

Children seem to have come up a lot in the comments, and I think that’s because having children gives so many people a reason to live. I have three nieces and a nephew, all under the age of seven, and spending time with them has truly given me a new perspective on life. You hear over and over again, when people have children, that their children give them a reason to wake up in the morning.

I think what happens, maybe, is that life does follow in similar stages for everyone, kind of like your Nietzsche post. I am (and maybe you are too) in that stage where I question my existence and search for answers. I consider myself to be on a quest for my personal definition of happiness… perfect happiness… enlightenment, as a buddhist might refer to it. (I think buddhists get a lot of things right).

When, inevitably, so many of us fail to find life’s meaning, I think the next stage (for many) is to have children, and in our children we finally find life’s meaning: a reason to wake up every morning, a reason to be alive and to stay alive, a purpose.
Adam Polselli

May 15, 04:48 PM #
As the word “balance” implies , you have to shift the weight constantly to maintained balance. That is you have to constantly put an effort to archive the perfect result.
And life (living as human) has nothing to do with being perfect. We always evolute and constantly changing.
As our body grouse old our mind comprehend those changes as long we are keep shifting the weight (to remain balance).
So the level of accurate balance (if any) has to do with the state of mind and our principals ( system of acceptation ).

A note about a comment for the youngsters.
Is not the youth that allows the persuasion but the freshness of view.
Lazaros

Jan 30, 07:50 AM #
I just found your blog and I am adding a link to my blog. I have just started my blog but I think you might enjoy the read. In a couple of days it will be
www.ridingthependulum.com If you like what you read maybe you would link me to this blog. I will continue to follow you. I think I have a lot of experience with the questions you ask. Glad you are out here.
Beth

Mar 8, 03:47 PM #